What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

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Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

What are goosebumps used for?

To keep geese from speeding!

Collect Jokes More Collect Jokes

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?

Collecting his thoughts.

Why did the Otter collect parts for his spaceship?

So he could go to otter space.

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?

Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dessed man on a bicycle?

Attire...!!

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books."

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for . There's no punch line!

Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late?

Procrastination!

Speed Ticket Jokes More Speed Ticket Jokes

What did the cow say to the police officer, giving a speeding ticket?

Miav.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits