What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

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Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What did Einstein say when he was pulled over for speeding?

Speed is relative, officer."

What would one call a movie about meth addictions?

Need for speed.

Collect Jokes More Collect Jokes

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

Bicycle Jokes More Bicycle Jokes

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

What did the poor ghetto dweller get for Christmas?

Your bicycle.

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old

Speed Ticket Jokes More Speed Ticket Jokes

What did the cow say to the police officer, giving a speeding ticket?

Miav.

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits