What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

What would one call a movie about meth addictions?

Need for speed.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

How does a deaf Gynecologist communicate with his patients?

He reads lips.

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.