Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

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Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What did the conceited man say while he stood on the north pole?

The earth revolves around me.

Why does Darkwing Duck wear a mask?

You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who won the 1940 Tour De France?

The 7th Panzer division

What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?

I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Where can you find the speed of light?

At C level

How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?

A: The knocking always speeds up.

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

Why aren't you mowing the lawn?

Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight

How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight?

Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm