How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you stop a black guy from jumping on a bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What did the bed say to the sleepy man?

I want you inside me"

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Santa such a jolly old elf?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know cause you weren't there

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a one foot tall man painting the side of a house?

Answer: On a quantum level, there is no difference.

What's black and screaming?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first?

Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Why does the French flag have Velcro?

So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

What do you call the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch voting?

Counting Crows

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What am I supposed to take tomorrow?

Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.

What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else