When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

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Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What do you call it when a prayer is answered?

A coincidence.

What's the major cause of divorce?

Answer: Once is not enough.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

How do you make a Game of Thrones fan sad?

You ask them to hold the door for you.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?

Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt?

That's a waist of paper!"

How ugly was she?

Paper or plasic?

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over?

HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES

How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

What an Idiot.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What does a Mexican cut a pizza with?

Little ceasars!!! (Scissors)

Whats the difference between children and lesbians?

Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs.