Mozart Jokes

What did Mozart yell when he became a crusader?

Amadeus Vult!

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Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?

Because he was Haydn

What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

What's Mozart doing?

decomposing.

What do people call Mozart and Beethoven after they died?

Decomposers

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing

What is Mozart doing right now?

De-composing

Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

Because they kept saying "Bach, bach, bach"

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

What did Mozart say to the police clerk?

I'll be Bach" hahaha. What do you mean they're different people

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Why did Beethoven hate Mozart?

Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.

What was Mozart's first movement?

His bowels.

Why have they not found Mozart's body yet?

Because he is Haydn.

Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

A: Because he's Haydn!

What do you think Mozart is doing right now?

Decomposing.

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

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A socra-tease Made this one up myself. I'll be here all week

Why do artists never win when they play football ?

They keep drawing !

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What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry

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Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

Why'd the chicken cross The Road?

Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.

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What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies ?

Barium

How's Terry Fox like Jack Layton?

They both tried to run a country and died before finishing.

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Why did the L.A. riots last only 4 days?

Everyone knows black people can't work a full week.

How do you know Axe was invented by black people?

If it was white people who invented it, it would be called Ask.

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Why did Beethoven hate Mozart?

Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.

Why do feminists hate Medusa?

She's always objectifying people.

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Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

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Why was the army recruiter in the nursery?

To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry.

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!