When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense?

I'll tell you guys tomorrow

What kind of disease did the guy get when he skipped the condom and plowed a girl with down's syndrome?

Slow clap

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What is the official bird of love?

The Swallow.

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What's the difference between Wright and Rong?

Wright yells, "Objection!' Rong is your typical Chinese man.

Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

Grandkid Jokes More Grandkid Jokes

When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :(( Me: Rules are rules.

Linda Jokes More Linda Jokes

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink?

M: Linda.