How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think it'll be like?

The other student shrugs and says, "Remains to be seen".

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

What does a man with one leg wear to the beach?

Flop.

What did A and B look for at the beach?

A "C" gull!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

Career Jokes More Career Jokes

What career is a perfect ten?

Forensics

Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt?

Because his career was in ruins

Los Angeles Jokes More Los Angeles Jokes

What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security?

Both have LAX security.

Where will you find the most powerful man in Los Angeles?

Watts.

Homeless Guy Jokes More Homeless Guy Jokes

What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas?

Very hungry.

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.