What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse?

Take me to your Liederkranz.

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Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?

They get to meet their old flames!

Why did two ferrets decide to meet?

They were trying to start a business.

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How did the captain describe the newborn puppy?

son-of-a-b***h..!!!

Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?

Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.