How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

How do you save a drowning black family?

As a .jpg

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

Where do puppies go when they die?

Back into the microwave so I can get in another round.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&ampM factory?

She threw away all of the W's.

What do you call it when you said a redneck on fire?

A firecracker

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

Litter Jokes More Litter Jokes

What does Bill Gates call it when someone drops a $20 bill on the ground?

Littering.

Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ?

Because they mess up the whole house !

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

Rollercoaster Jokes More Rollercoaster Jokes

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.