How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

Why is Jesus so rich?

Because Jesus saves.

Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

What does a near-sighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

What you call it?

takes back mixtape* FIRE!

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do optometrists enjoy nautical jokes?

They have a good sense of aqueous humor.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Litter Jokes More Litter Jokes

What does Bill Gates call it when someone drops a $20 bill on the ground?

Littering.

What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Rollercoaster Jokes More Rollercoaster Jokes

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.