Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Previous Random Joke Next
Point Jokes More Point Jokes

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off?

Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

What did C.S. Lewis say about The Lord of the Rings books?

I don't know what you're Tolkien about!" Yeah, sorry.. I know it's dumb.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What did the toilet say to the pee?

urine

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

What do you call someone who blows himself up by accident?

An Errorist!

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."