Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What is long and yellow and always points north?

A magnetic banana.

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do Gypsy's walk funny?

Because of their Crystal Balls EDIT: I'm not sure if anyone's posted this before my mum's sister emailed her from across the globe.(New Zealand) I laughed so hard I thought I'd put it here. Credit goes to my Mum's sister though.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why did the architect have his house made backwards?

So he could watch the football

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do LotR and Brokeback Mountain have in common?

Someone's ring gets broken.

How have you done that?

I don't know how but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell he gives me a piece of cheese.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident?

He was trapped under da-Brie!

What do you call Christopher Reeve before the accident?

Christopher Walken.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.