Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

What's the advantage of being black in Africa vs black in America?

Nobody can point at your shoes and say "What are thoooooooooose?!"

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you feel about perfumes being designed by computers?

Because I think it makes perfect scents.

Why does my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD have a piracy warning?

I think that pretty much goes without saying.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why did Jon Snow need a new battery?

For the watch.

How long does it take To microwave a baby?

I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician?

I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

Jose and Hoseb

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

What do witches ring for in a hotel?

B-room service.

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why did the model pee herself?

She was all dressed up with no place to go!

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

How many monkeys does it take to write a Shakespeare novel by accident?

As many as it takes submitters to write an original joke. (by accident)

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?

A: She moved.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good