What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What does Tupak Shakur have in common with Lethal Weapon 4?

Both were shot in Vegas

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Casino Jokes More Casino Jokes

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

He was caught counting carbs.

Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

Blast Jokes More Blast Jokes

Why didn't Wilma let Fred in when he was banging at the door?

Because she was in the shower and didn't hear him because the elephant stump was on full blast.

Who makes the best Astronauts?

Team Rocket since they're always blasting off.

Shotgun Jokes More Shotgun Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?

No new messages.

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good