Crap Jokes

What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

What's so meta that you almost crap your pants?

Metamucil

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What do you call it when Superman craps his pants?

Undy-terd.

What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants?

A dire rhetoric.

Which plant talks the most crap?

Shiitake mushrooms.

What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common?

They are both full of crap.

How long does it take for a White woman to take a crap?

9 Months.

Why don't asians like to applause?

Because every time they do all they do is crap

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands?

If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands."

What the difference between the U.S. Government and a bucket of crap?

The bucket

What does British toilet paper and John Wayne have in common?

It's rough, and tough, and doesn't take any crap.

Why are constipated people so rude?

They don't give a crap

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed?

Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

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Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How do blind skydivers know when to pull the cord?

The leash goes slack

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the table fan say to his boss when he couldn't get to work on time?

Ah-so-late!

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

Whack Jokes More Whack Jokes

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!" ::Whack::

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why don't native Americans like snow?

We don't like anything white on our land.

What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling?

He likes it dirty.

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea?

A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy

Slap Jokes More Slap Jokes

What do you call an Asian prize fighter who's dad has a serious case of diarrhea?

A slap happy jappy with a crap happy pappy

Why did the midget get slapped?

Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a chick pea and a potato?

You would pay to have a potato on you...

What's the difference between you and an egg?

The egg actually gets laid!

Fisherman Jokes More Fisherman Jokes

What do fishermen say on Halloween?

Trick-or-trout!"

Why did everyone love the fisherman?

He was a real catch