Casino Jokes

How are women like casinos?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

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Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa?

Because there's too many cheetahs!

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.

What did the nun wear to the casino?

Her gambling habit.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Why do lambs go to casinos?

They love to gambol.

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

What is the name of that casino on the beach?

Pair-a-dice.

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Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

Why are there so few casinos in Africa?

Too many cheetahs

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

How can you always break even at the casino?

Play the change machines.

Why did the pig go to the casino ?

To play the slop machine !

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

He was caught counting carbs.

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

Why should you never date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

Liquor Jokes More Liquor Jokes

How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor?

Straight, No Chaser.

How does a French lady hold her liquor?

By the ears

Lamb Jokes More Lamb Jokes

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

What is it called when a dyslexic has a slow computer?

A rack of lamb

Poker Jokes More Poker Jokes

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?

Liquor in the front poker in the back.

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs!

Million Jokes More Million Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

What if it all goes wrong and they clone millions of John Lennons?

Imagine all the people..

Prayer Jokes More Prayer Jokes

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

How do Jamaican's end their prayers?

Ey mon.

Cuba Jokes More Cuba Jokes

What language do they speak in Cuba ?

Cubic !

Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba?

He didn't want to play second fidel

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a cop who doesn't shoot innocent black people?

1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired

What did the witch say when her position was terminated?

You can't fire me! I snappopcrackleaaaaaargh!!!!