Why did the pig go to the casino ?

To play the slop machine !

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How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

They're trying to get away from the noise.

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How can you always break even at the casino?

Play the change machines.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

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What type of gun is used by a pig that is good with the ladies?

A smoothbore.

Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?

He had a problem with his hamstring.