Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?

Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

War Jokes More War Jokes

What is statistically three times worse than a war?

Three wars

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How do you know a black woman is pregnant?

When she pulls out the tampon, the cotton's been picked clean.

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why did vatican invite Bernie not Hillary?

They couldn't afford it.

Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

He likes to keep things low key.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

When pigs get a toothache who do they see?

Painless Porker.

What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?

He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share.