Shotgun Jokes

What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common?

You break them at the middle and load them from behind

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What sound does a shotgun make?

Cobain Cobain

What do you call a rifle that has been fired recently?

A shotgun

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why was the apricot late to the party?

He got stuck in a jam.

Why was Edward stuck at the Russian airport?

Because he was Snowden.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

How do you keep an idiot with RES busy?

loading...

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

What do you do when you see an enemy with half a face?

Reload and shoot again!

Czech Jokes More Czech Jokes

What happens when your friend from Prague topples over?

You right a Czech.

What do you call someone from Olomouc who's living on the dole?

A welfare Czech.

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?

No new messages.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

24 Jokes More 24 Jokes

What do you call 24 carrots?

Edible gold.

How do you make soup golden?

You add 24 carrots.

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common?

They are both full of crap.

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire?

Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!