How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

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What do you find at an end of the rainbow?

Violet

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

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What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods?

I'm not doing that again for two bucks.

How did the witch almost lose her baby?

She didn't take it far enough into the woods.

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Why did the worker at the M&M factory get fired?

he threw out the W's

Who's there ! Bossy ! Bossy who ?

Bossy just fired me !

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What happened to the tree after it caught fire?

It became entally handicapped

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

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How do you stop a baby from walking in circles?

Pin its other hand to the ground.

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Where is Pinocchio's website?

On the splinternet.