How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the lightbulb and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who wants to know?

How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're on our sixth.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?

None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.

What happens to donkeys in the winter?

They change into brrrrrro's.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What's the worst part about driving Ford off a cliff?

Ford was my best friend.

Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What do women and dog poop have in common?

The older they are the easier they are to pick up.

What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere?

A Hyundai.

Himher Jokes More Himher Jokes

How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her.

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized