What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer?

The extrovert looks at your feet when talking.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What car does Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

When someone has Taken your car who should you call?

Liam Nissan

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How did a blind man drive his car?

A: One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Asian?

A car thief who can't drive

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?

Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Diarrhea Jokes More Diarrhea Jokes

What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?

Both stream instantly.

What did the black kid say to his mom when he had diarrhea?

Help! I'm melting!

Gas Jokes More Gas Jokes

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ?

Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !

Tank Jokes More Tank Jokes

How's the oil industry doing these days?

It's in the tank.

What's the difference between a man on a unicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a bicycle wearing a tank top?

Attire.

Fume Jokes More Fume Jokes

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.