Gas Jokes

Why did France really surrender to Germany?

Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

What has 10 letters and starts with gas?

Automobile.

What is similar between gas and water?

Not much, but in Flint they are both regular and unleaded

What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz?

You shall not gas!"

What do you call a Scotsman with gas after a dodgy curry?

Bravefart

What gas is best dressed at a dinner party?

Formaldehyde

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

Why was the laser sad?

All his gas is Argon.

Why did the Ferguson protesters go home early last night?

The whole thing was a gas.

What are the four most common types of states of matter?

Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What does a virus call a cluster of stars and gas?

Nebola

What has ten letters and starts with gas?

flatulence"

How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

The boy stumbles: "Well euhm ... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

What gas do snails prefer?

Shell.

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

What do cars and humans have in common?

We both burn gas.

Who's there ! Cargo ! Cargo who ?

Cargo better if you fill it with gas first !

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

The type of gas used.

Why couldn't the Germans make a good vacuum chamber?

There was too much gas in them.

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What do you call the german version of Harry Potter?

Heinrich Potter, and the chamber of gas.

What do you call gas from the human body that NASA could impliment into fuel for their technology in the future?

Rocket Farts.

Where does the dentist get his gas?

At the filling station

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

Why did the pirate go to Ireland?

he thought he was going to Arrrland.

Automobile Jokes More Automobile Jokes

What has 10 letters and starts with gas?

Automobile.

What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?

A very upset child.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why shouldn't you let a Pokemon take a shower with you?

He might Pikachu.

What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower?

Brainwashed.

Purpose Jokes More Purpose Jokes

When do you know that you are getting old?

When you have babies on purpose

Who's there ! Acid ! Acid who ?

Acidently on purpose !

Bad Gas Jokes More Bad Gas Jokes

What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas?

A leaf blower

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

Whats a Muslims favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

A start.

What's the difference beetwen public official and private employee?

Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee.