What do cars and humans have in common?

We both burn gas.

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Human Jokes More Human Jokes

What does a sperm cell have in common with a lawyer?

Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

What helps humans get laid but is deadly for fish?

Pick up lines

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What did one candle say to the other?

Don't birthdays burn you up "

What do you call a hippie that can't cook?

Burning ham!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend?

Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

Gas Jokes More Gas Jokes

What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea?

One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs.

What gas leaves a pirate speechless?

Argon