Gandalf Jokes

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

What did Gandalf say when he tried to shut down Auschwitz?

You shall not gas!"

Why did Gandalf never listen to the song "Dream Police"?

Because he was no conjurer of Cheap Trick

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

What does the high elves call Gandalf?

Methrandir

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ?

The White Wizzer

How does Gandalf know he's pregnant?

A wizard is never late.

Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.

What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why is Gandalf's cupcake shop so successful?

Because he has a magical staff.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

You might also enjoy:

Flock Jokes More Flock Jokes

What's Gandalf's favorite band?

A Flock of Smeagols

How do you know if a flock of geese is from Canada?

They fly in an 'A' (eh)

Gollum Jokes More Gollum Jokes

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull! :D

Islamic Jokes More Islamic Jokes

What do you call an Islamic mosquito?

A 'mosque-ito'.

What do you call an Islamic pilot?

A pilot, you racist.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

What was the car doing in the dressing room?

Changing attire.

Conjurer Jokes More Conjurer Jokes

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Why doesn't Gandalf dress as a pimp for Halloween?

So people do not take him as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

Hobbit Jokes More Hobbit Jokes

What did the Hobbit say to the Japanese man as he was leaving?

Shirenara!

What do 8 hobbits make?

A hobbyte.

Mordor Jokes More Mordor Jokes

What's the difference between New York City and the Land of Mordor?

Two Towers.

What's the difference between a gorrila pit and Mordor?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

Gas Jokes More Gas Jokes

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

Why was the laser sad?

All his gas is Argon.