Gollum Jokes

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull! :D

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What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

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Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

Why was Avogadro executed?

He was a mole

Why is an abortionist good to have on your team?

If you conceive something, they can execute it.

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates?

In Iraq.

What do they call a dog in Iraq?

A Shia pet. *friend of mine came up with this and was pretty proud of himself

Scallop Jokes More Scallop Jokes

What's Gollum's favourite food?

Scallops, scallops!

How does a sea horse run?

Scallops!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

What do you call an attractive bee who goes to bars?

A bar-bee!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What would you say is your biggest flaw?

i step in in people's conversations" "i was asking *him*"

What did the rapper ask the pet sitter when he got back from vacation?

Where my dogs at?