Gollum Jokes

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull! :D

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What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

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Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates?

In Iraq.

Why was Aron Ralston arrested by the FBI?

For giving arms to Iraq.

Scallop Jokes More Scallop Jokes

How does a sea horse run?

Scallops!

What's Gollum's favourite food?

Scallops, scallops!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What two games does Carl Sagan play at the bar?

Billiards and Billiards

What's the difference between Russian football fans and an old drunkard in a bar at closing time?

Kicking the old drunkard out won't start world war III.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the pirate say when asked how old he was?

Aye Matey!

When you talk to a good girl, ask 'How are you?

When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you '

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

Why is ISIS so good at sports?

Even in high-intensity games they always manage to execute

What was the REAL reason Harambe was executed?

He found Hillary's emails

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

What do hobbits secretly call Gandalf when he drinks too much ?

The White Wizzer