What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common?

They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What is the difference between Kanye West and God?

God doesn't think that He's Kanye.

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What did Bruce Willis say to motivate his son?

Son, if at first you don't succeed, Try Hard. If that doesn't work, Try Hard 2. If that still doesn't work, Try Hard with a Vengeance. Remember, you can't pick between the choice to Live Free or Try Hard. They go together. Everyday's A Good Day to Try Hard."

What is Weird Al Yankovic's favorite pick up line?

Hey, so are you familiar with my parodies? Yeah my PAIR O DEEZ NUTS!!!

Cougar Jokes More Cougar Jokes

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.