Cougar Jokes

What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

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How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common?

They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it.

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Obtain Jokes More Obtain Jokes

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

What do you call two fruits that can't get married?

Cantaloupes

John Cougar Melon Camp Jokes More John Cougar Melon Camp Jokes

Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

What do you do on a remote island?

Try and find the TV island it belongs to.

Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

a lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

Let us prey.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven?

I think this is a set up!

What does an Australian chemist call is bro?

Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong