Cougar Jokes

What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

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How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common?

They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it.

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Obtain Jokes More Obtain Jokes

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

Old Woman Jokes More Old Woman Jokes

What do older women wear?

Depends

How does a young man make an old woman feel young again?

Elixir

Umami Jokes More Umami Jokes

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

Cheetah Jokes More Cheetah Jokes

Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa?

Too many Cheetahs.

Why can't animals ever have an olympics?

Because there's always a cheetah

Melon Camp Jokes More Melon Camp Jokes

Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Path Jokes More Path Jokes

Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

Why does lightning always strike trees?

They are the path of leaf resistance.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armor.

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

a retarded gorilla

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How do cats park their cars?

They allel park

What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.