Why did Newton's wife got pregnant?

Because he doesn't believe in using quantum

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What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

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What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

What's the difference.... Between my girlfriend and santa?

Some people actually believe santa exist.

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Why did Newton's wife got pregnant?

Because he doesn't believe in using quantum

Why Newton laws were not from Asian countries?

Because they have durian...

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Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

How are a roof and quantum physics the same?

They both go over your head.