What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

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Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting?

You only need one nail to hold up a picture.

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Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What do Asian people use as blindfolds?

Shoe laces.

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What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

What has an IQ of 42?

A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"