How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

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What is a traitor?

A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it.

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

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Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

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What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

What did a chemist say to a deaf guy?

Does it matter

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How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.