Remain Jokes

Why have all Remain voters suddenly gotten so salty?

They don't like the taste of being the minority!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a poo which still remains after flushing?

An - nflushable loating bject

What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous?

anonagon.

What do you say when only the egg remains?

It's all ovum now

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

How Many Hillary Supporters Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

Why NONE of course, they prefer to remain in the dark!

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

What do you call a body in a morgue which hasn't been viewed by anyone yet?

Remains to be seen.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

How will it work?

Remains to be seen.

What's left of a garden after it catches on fire?

Chard remains.

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?

A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

What do you think it'll be like?

The other student shrugs and says, "Remains to be seen".

99.9% of the people are dumb!

Fortunately I belong to the remaining 1%

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty?

Mutton Looter King

Why did the pillow cross the road?

Because it was cooler on the other side.

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

How does the quadriplegic cross the free way?

I'll give you a hint... Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way".

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

Why the sad face?

asks the bartender. "I got fired."

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What's the biggest fish you ever caught?

That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes "

What's left of a garden after it catches on fire?

Chard remains.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I've got this neat candle holder...

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two! But don't ask me how they got inside there.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Who's there ! Cugat ! Cugat who ?

Cugat to love my jokes !

Why aren't there more jokes based on haptics?

It's a touchy subject.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why does flint never get any likes on their Instagram pictures?

Cause they don't use a filter.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why is the most intelligent part of your body so intelligent?

A: Because it nose.

Why do skeletons not go to the disco?

Because they got no body to dance with!