What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

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What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

What would Jesus actually do?

Probably ban nail guns

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What do you call a hula hoop with a nail on the inside?

A Navel Destroyer.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

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Why did jesus take 3 days to resurrect?

He got hammered with his buddies.

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.