What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog with lice in China?

Full course dinner

What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?

A sheep that can round itself up !

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What's Shakespeare's favorite video game?

Sonnet the hedgehog

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.