What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do bostonians call dogs that protect heaven's gates?

God dogs

What do you call a dog that can't hear?

Doesn't matter much, does it

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Why don't rabbits like beer?

Because it messes with their hops

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

2B or not 2B?

What did Shakespeare name his pet pig?

Hamlet.