Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

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Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post )

What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water?

What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution.

What is another name for sunscreen?

SOLution

Rug Jokes More Rug Jokes

What's up, girl?

Do you like bad boys kicks rug or good guys fixes rug

How does Spongebob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Why does T-Pain always look well rested?

Because he is a NAPPY BOY!!!

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is Kylo Ren so lonely all the time?

He's Ben Solo his whole life

What did the CPU say to the RAM?

Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, "life" is too short.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What did the car-painter say to the carpenter?

You sound just like me!"

What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?

reddit

Spill Jokes More Spill Jokes

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What'll you have?

A tachyon walks into a bar.

Why did Jesus have to walk everywhere?

He drove a Ford.