Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

You might also enjoy:

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why is womens soccer so rare?

Why is womens soccer so rare? Its quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

How'd you find out?

G:"I'm on both."

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What helps humans get laid but is deadly for fish?

Pick up lines

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the turkey walk across the road twice?

He didn't want to be called chicken

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?

Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

1. No mind. 2. No business.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

Aircraft Jokes More Aircraft Jokes

What kind of Aircraft is into Men and Women?

A Biplane.

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What's the darkest joke you know?

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle?

Life.