Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

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What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

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What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

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Aircraft Jokes More Aircraft Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

What is the friendliest kind of aircraft?

A Hello-copter.

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

What is the difference between a wife and a mistress?

About 20kg.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Haley Joel Osment find at the top of Mt. Everest?

Icy Dead People

Where would you find an algebraic Sailors hat?

Indice

Igloo Jokes More Igloo Jokes

What do you call a smiley face if someone uses it that lives in an igloo?

An Eskimoji

Why don't the citizens of Boston build igloos?

Meh. They just aren't in' uit.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

How loud can you talk?

Alcohol

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ?

because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?

Beacause a little water ends both of them !

What do you get when you burn Baltimore?

Baltiless

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS