Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

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What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

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What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

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Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

What do you call an equation with no solution?

A hypocrite.

Why are chemists always a part of the problem?

Because they can never be a part of the solution.

Persian Jokes More Persian Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Why were the Persians attracted to the Anatolian Greeks?

Because they were Ionic.

Underlay Jokes More Underlay Jokes

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

Underlay! Underlay!

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Rug Jokes More Rug Jokes

How does Spongebob cut a rug?

With a square Dance!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Mistress Jokes More Mistress Jokes

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

A: About fifty pounds.

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How can you tell a mechanic got laid?

He has one clean finger

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How is she now ?

She's fine. But the dog died.

What's gray and all around?

Everything. I'm a dog.

Pixar Jokes More Pixar Jokes

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.