Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What do men and hardwood flooring have in common?

Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them the rest of your life!

What is life?

Where am I going & -What the hell is a "spokes" person for a bike company called

Crap Jokes More Crap Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What do you get when a ghost takes a crap?

Rectoplasm.

Igloo Jokes More Igloo Jokes

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

What do eskimos do when it gets cold?

They go into their igloos and sit around a candle. What do they do when it gets even colder They turn on the candle.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

Why can't I get it up?

Okay, sometimes alcohol is the answer.

Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water?

What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution.

What do you call a terrorist on the moon?

A problem. What do you call when 3 terrorists are on the moon? A problem. What do you call when all the terrorists are on the moon? A solution.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why can't the bishop walk straight?

Cause he can only move diagonally

Why did the rabbi walk into the bar?

Because he likes oldfashioned jokes.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

How do Asian's name their children?

Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*

What sound does Korean bread make when it hits a wall?

Bang! (!)