Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What do you call a skinned, animal-throwrug for your vehicle?

A carpet.

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why does carpet never make a sound?

It's the world's quietest pervert.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What do you call a cute little animal you keep in your automobile?

A: A carpet.

What does Speedy Gonzalez keep under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

How did Aladdin die?

Carpet bombing.

What do Mexican's put under their carpet?

Underlay

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

Why do carpets in white folk houses always need vacuuming?

Crackers always leave crumbs.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

You might also enjoy:

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

How is a bell obedient?

It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

Spill Jokes More Spill Jokes

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?

Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...

How does a skeleton solve a problem?

With the bare-bones approach.

Pixar Jokes More Pixar Jokes

What's your favourite Pixar film?

Up, yours " "No need to be like that I was only asking"

What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards?

A receding hare line.

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

Underlay Jokes More Underlay Jokes

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit?

Underlay! Underlay!

Vehicle Jokes More Vehicle Jokes

What is a bus ?

A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist