What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Why arent the americans playing chess?

they are missing two towers.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why does nobody ever talk about Jack the Ripper's sleazier French cousin?

Jock the stripper.

What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

How did the dead baby get across the road?

Me: How Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: .....

Why did the accountant cross the road?

Because that's what they did last year.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

What kind of woman are the most irrational?

The ones with the golden proportions!

Vehicle Jokes More Vehicle Jokes

What does the Army call it's Muslim infantry units with vehicles?

Mecca-nized infantry.

What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust?

Ju-Haul

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What does a drunk police officer do?

Protect and swerve.

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..