What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

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Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

What covers the outside of a dogwood tree?

Bark.

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

What do Mexicans put under their carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?

Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.