Spill Jokes

What's it called when you make sure you don't spill the wine?

Being carafe-ful.

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What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell?

Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones.

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What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce?

Because it happened in the *past*a.

What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you?

You will get burned, you idiot.

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"

Why do people hit things (ex. TV, computer, etc.) when they don't work?

Well, it worked with the slaves.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why did the young ghost leave the party?

Everyone started drinking boo's. Happy Halloween!

Why was the volleyball player drunk at a game?

Because he spiked his drink

Adult Jokes More Adult Jokes

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Root Jokes More Root Jokes

What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?

Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Root beer.

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

Why did the monster lie on his back?

To trip up low-flying aircraft.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What's the difference between Java and JavaScript?

Java and JavaScript are similar in the same way car and carpet are.

Nightmare Jokes More Nightmare Jokes

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

Why do all black men have nightmares?

The one with a dream was shot.