Spill Jokes

What's it called when you make sure you don't spill the wine?

Being carafe-ful.

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What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell?

Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones.

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What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce?

Because it happened in the *past*a.

What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you?

You will get burned, you idiot.

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

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Root Jokes More Root Jokes

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Root beer.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way."

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

Adult Jokes More Adult Jokes

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

Why does Helium go up?

Because the floors Argon.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Disable Jokes More Disable Jokes

Why are all castles disabled?

They all have tur-rets

What do girls and parking spaces have in common?

All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled

Acid Jokes More Acid Jokes

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

Who's there ! Acid ! Acid who ?

Acidently on purpose !

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

What's the worst thing about alcoholics?

They wine too much.

How much wine can a cat drink?

2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

Why did the young Mexican solve the problem so easily?

It was a no buena My girlfriend is Mexican so I love Mexican jokes. Let me know if you have one!

What's everyone's problem with euthanasia?

I like little asian kids