How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

How old is your girlfriend?

She's52" "Haha, dude, she could be your mom!" "Yeah, actually it's yours"

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?

Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

A Jolly Rancher.

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something?

Sir Charge

Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

Birth Jokes More Birth Jokes

What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth?

One was planned.

What do you call a veal-birthing cow?

De-calf

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What is a detective duck supposed to do?

Quack the case! I'll show myself out.

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for . There's no punch line!

Adult Jokes More Adult Jokes

Why do the proms stop after high school?

Just because I'm an adult now doesn't mean I don't still need to grind on people to Lil' Jon songs.

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.