What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

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What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

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What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

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What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

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Why do lesbians hate Nutella?

Because it's not nut-free

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody