Salmon Jokes

Why did the salmon cross the road?

To get to the front page

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Salmon

What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

Whats pink and smells like salmon?

trout

How long did it take the fish to go to the store?

salmon or eight minutes.

What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon?

IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!"

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

What do you call a fish that's on its way to somewhere?

Salmon en route

What did the salmon say when it hit the wall?

Dam"

What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon?

The Bear Glare.

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

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What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

What do you get if you cross a salmon a bird's leg and a hand ?

Birdsthigh fish fingers !

What do you call a Salmon that sets a good example?

A roe model.

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Store Jokes More Store Jokes

When can you store food in a door?

When it's ajar.

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

How did the Bohemian pay?

Just a Check

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why did the fisherman keep taking off?

Because he was fly fishing.

What is something that can breakdance on the floor only once on their life?

A fish

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

What did the cannibals do with the midget?

Put another shrimp on the barbie.

Why did the cannibal have an upset stomach?

He ate someone who disagreed with him.

Nutella Jokes More Nutella Jokes

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody

What happens when you put Nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What was the bear protesting?

his right to human arms

How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

A: As many bears as Bear Grylls' grill can bear.

Deposit Jokes More Deposit Jokes

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

Where do polar bears go to deposit money?

A snowbank

Tuna Jokes More Tuna Jokes

What kind of fish loves to fix instruments?

A tuna.

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue I knew you'd get stuck.