Check Jokes

Three, one suggests to check if it is plug in, another recommends to reboot the printer, and finally one to check to see if the printer had paper and laugh about how easy the solution was.

What's the difference beetwen public official and private employee?

Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee.

What did the hotel clerk tell the guest with paruresis during check in?

Your in 8.

Where did the pregnant T-Rex go for a check-up?

The dinocologist

Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

What do you use to check your cell from across the room?

A telephono lens.

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

What do you have to use to check a test on Telemarketing?

A Scamtron.

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

What if the missing plane is still up there?

What " Did you check the sky "No." See, this is why you'll never advance, Kevin.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.

Why were the racist oranges upset when they checked out the small phonebook of their new city?

Because it was mini apple list.

How will you be paying, sir?

Check mate"..

How do you get alot of people to check out your post?

Tag it NSFW and repost it.

This joke may have profanity.

What did the feminist Jedi say to Emperor Palpatine?

Check your privilege, sithlord

How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Uh...standby I'll check on that.

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate

Why do Australians take forever to play chess?

Because they never make it past the first check, mate.

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

What does a Doctor do when he needs 50 bags full of fruits?

He goes to Orlando and checks the Pulse.

Where does a salmon go to deposit a check?

To the river bank!

Why does a Belgian take a stone and a flashlight to bed?

The stone to throw the lights out, the flashlight to check if the lights are really out

Why did the library book go to the doctor?

It needed to be checked out it had a bloated appendix.

What do banks and the US government have in common?

They both deal with checks and balances.

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Why did Snoo not check out a library book?

Because he had already Reddit.

What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus?

Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

What if horses rode horses?

And then THOSE horses rode MORE horses Then it's like, whoa dude! Check out that big stack of horses!

Why did the customer slap the cashier?

Because he was checking her out.

Why don't mexicans have checking accounts?

It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.

How did the Bohemian pay?

Just a Check

How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But he has to check it 100 times one for each watt.

Why don't we tell the people that every snowflake is unique?

It's not like they'll ever really check "Let's do it"

How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook?

With his EyePhone

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

How badly?

ME: I want you checking thesaurus in a panic haphazardly

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

How does Samsung know its most loyal customers?

They check with the burn ward. (I'll get my coat)

How can a blind person tell if they're home?

They check the architexture.

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

How does a tornado tell the time?

It checks the tornado watch.

Why did the internit paint his computer screen in little black and white squares?

He wanted to check his e-mail.

What's a pirate's favorite move in chess?

Check, matey.

How do old people check up to see how their friends are doing?

They look in the obituary

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?

Check their jeans.

Why didn't you check your speedometer?

Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

How did the Redditor get stuck in a loop?

I don't know, check the post above me.

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate."

How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby I'll check on that.

How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?

Try it out on Internet Explorer

You might also enjoy:

Snow Storm Jokes More Snow Storm Jokes