Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Previous Random Joke Next

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

Where are the colored printers?

I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What did the banana say to the human?

Nothing you idiot, bananas don't talk!

What did the Banana say to the Monkey?

Yo You peel me

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

How do you check the intonation of a guitar underwater?

With a tuna.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady?

But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

Why do Redditors get excited when a tornado rips down miles of fences?

Because there is a lot of reposting to do.

What did the moderator say to the redditor?

Deleted

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common?

Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?

Because he ate five fruits a day!

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?

Because he had his own scales !

Why can't the insecure fish sing well?

He's never comfortable in his own scales.