What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What's the worst part of running into your ex?

You have to get out and check to see how bad your car is damaged.

How did the Redditor get stuck in a loop?

I don't know, check the post above me.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What is twitter?

3. Twitter is beautiful. 4. What is life

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What is closer the moon or London?

To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here

What's your favorite kind of music?

Asked one windmill to another. The windmill responds, "I'm a metal fan."

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.