How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

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Where's your buccaneers?

The pirate responds, "tucked inside my buck'n hat!!"

Whopper?

McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

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What's The Coolest Thing On the Internet I Can Buy for Under $100?

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wyozq/whatisthecoolestthingicanbuyonthe/c5hp9rg

What do you call a lesbian with huge thumbs?

Well-endowed. http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/3628/ellenplaidshirt022ex9.jpg

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What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables?

Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia