What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cigarette and my exwife?

Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.

What's the difference between wife and a blue whale?

About 10 pounds.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What does weed and your girlfriend have in common?

They both leave me sticky fingers. 7

Who's gonna be Batman?

leaves Earth*

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

Why didn't the car have a tire?

Because cars don't wear clothes.

Http Jokes More Http Jokes

How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

What is recursion?

What is recursion (http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/211omr/whatisrecursion/)

Brush Jokes More Brush Jokes

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

Brake Jokes More Brake Jokes

What did the drifter say to the person he hit ?

RIP my E-brake

What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes?

A screwdriver

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?

Missile Toe!

What do we call a wireless mouse?

Hamster.

Rake Jokes More Rake Jokes

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

How'd Florida man break his leg raking leaves?

He fell off the palm tree

Rush Jokes More Rush Jokes

Why was Stalin a Bad leader?

Because he was staling a country that was rushing..(Russia) This joke was bad. Im going to bed now.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK