What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

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What the difference between a police car and a porcupine?

With a police car, the pricks are on the inside

What's the difference between a cactus and a schoolbus?

Cactus has little pricks on the outside

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What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts. . .

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Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

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Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

Grouch Jokes More Grouch Jokes

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.