Oscar Jokes

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

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What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

When is the closest Leo will get to an Oscar?

When he takes out the trash

What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

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What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Why did Adele crawl under the cow?

to say hello from the udder side. I'll take my Oscar now.

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".

What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

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Rio De Janeiro Jokes More Rio De Janeiro Jokes

What Pokemon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro?

Zikachu.

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside?

An un-in.

Grouch Jokes More Grouch Jokes

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What do you call a tear in the American flag?

An old glory hole.

Leonardo Jokes More Leonardo Jokes

What do Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael have in common?

They're all Renaissance Italian artists.

Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!

Good Vibration Jokes More Good Vibration Jokes

Why did the egg get a ticket from a lady police officer?

Because he was picking up good vibrations.

What would be the perfect theme song to Oscar Pistorius kicking trying to kick down a bathroom door?

Good Vibrations

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Why did the director get kicked out of the bar?

He was making a scene!

Oscar Joke Jokes More Oscar Joke Jokes

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!