Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

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How is your day going?

G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

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When is the closest Leo will get to an Oscar?

When he takes out the trash

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

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Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

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What would Steve Harvey change his name to if he suddenly became bulimic?

Heave Starvey

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

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What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!