What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you get if 2 black men sleep in a sleeping bag?

A twix bar

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

sleigh-er

What do you want for Christmas?

Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?

IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?

Because of the Ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Okay Jokes More Okay Jokes

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!