Toy Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why was the alligator sad?

It had a kiddie meal but didn't get a toy.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

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Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

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What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

What drives the hype train?

The hyper drive.

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When Pavlov was done with his experiments what did he do with his dogs?

Donate them to the salivation army I'llseemyselfout

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

Cancer stole our jobs!"

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Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

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What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!"

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

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Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

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What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?

A guard dog !

What do sea mammals say when something happens against their kind?

Oh, the huge-manatee

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What did Mozart yell when he became a crusader?

Amadeus Vult!

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"

Philosopher Favorite Toy Jokes More Philosopher Favorite Toy Jokes

What's a philosopher's favorite toy?

Play-doh.

What was the philosopher's favorite toy growing up?

Playdough.