Elf Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

How do elves spell?

With an elfabet.

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How many elves does a german santa have?

Elf.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull?

A: 10:45

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

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Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and ferrari ?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What's worse than finding a sack of spider eggs in your room?

Finding a sack of hatched spider eggs in your room

Naughty Girl Jokes More Naughty Girl Jokes

Why is santa always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause?

He knows where all the naughty girls live #*( )*

High Elf Jokes More High Elf Jokes

What does the high elves call Gandalf?

Methrandir

Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit?

The Khajiit.

Santa Helper Jokes More Santa Helper Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

What do you call someone who sings about mints?

A "Minstrel".

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'?

River Derci. Sorry.

Forgive Jokes More Forgive Jokes

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

How did the Mexicans get across the border?

They went through Juan by Juan. Forgive me.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show?

Drummers.