Elf Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

What does Santa teach his elves?

The Elfabet!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Why did the elf have to play with Mega Bloks?

Because he was Legoless

What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop?

WRAP MUSIC!

What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that follows Scientology?

Elron Hubbard

How do elves spell?

With an elfabet.

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How many elves does a german santa have?

Elf.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull?

A: 10:45

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?

A nearby horseman answers, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!"

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Harry Potter?

Santa would never free an elf.

How many elves does it take it screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but they have to be very small.

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Wrapper Jokes More Wrapper Jokes

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

When is the earliest time of day Nintendo fans play games?

The Wii hours of the morning.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What should i do now?

to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

What did the nihilistic sea world trainer say to his boss?

There is no porpoise."

Santa Little Helper Jokes More Santa Little Helper Jokes

Why was Santa's little helper sad?

Because he had low ELFesteem

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

High Elf Jokes More High Elf Jokes

What does the high elves call Gandalf?

Methrandir

Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit?

The Khajiit.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What was the seal's favorite subject in school?

ART ART ART!

Why was the broom late for school?

It over-swept

Sack Jokes More Sack Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and ferrari ?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What did Lewis and Clark only have one sack of on their expedition?

Jawea